Sometimes, when we have goals, purpose, meaning, or a clear sense of direction in our lives, we encounter people who simply do not understand us. They may not understand what motivates us, why our interests matter so much to us, or why we continue working toward something when success has not yet arrived.
You might devote long hours to pursuing your goals without making much money or receiving much recognition. Some people will look at your situation and wonder why you do not quit. A few may even tell you that you should.
To them, an activity is only worth the effort if it produces an immediate and measurable reward. If you are not earning money, gaining status, or receiving praise, they assume you are wasting your time. They do not understand that some pursuits have value long before they become profitable—and some have value whether they ever become profitable or not.
Nearly everyone who eventually became successful had to invest time and effort before receiving much in return. They continued when their audiences were small, their income was limited, and very few people believed in what they were doing. They did not know with certainty that success would come. They simply believed their goals were worth pursuing.
Determination frequently looks irrational to people who do not share your vision.
You may also have interests that other people do not understand. Something that fascinates you might seem pointless or strange to them. That does not mean there is anything wrong with your interest. People have different personalities, experiences, abilities, and callings. Something does not need to make sense to everyone else to have meaning for you.
You do not owe everyone an explanation. In many cases, an explanation would not help anyway. Someone who evaluates everything according to money, popularity, or social approval may still be unable to understand a goal driven by purpose.
This difference becomes even more noticeable when you are not constantly seeking approval, acceptance, or validation from others. Some people derive much of their identity from how they fit into a group. Their sense of self depends heavily upon social relationships, group dynamics, and what other people think of them.
If your identity comes primarily from within—from your values, faith, purpose, and what you create—your independence may confuse them. They may assume you are aloof, stubborn, unrealistic, or even arrogant simply because you do not need the same forms of validation they need.
That does not make you better than them. It only means that you find meaning differently.
Still, being misunderstood can hurt. We naturally prefer being around people who understand who we are, what matters to us, and where we are coming from. When that understanding is absent, we can experience isolation and loneliness. We may begin wondering whether we are on the wrong path simply because nobody nearby can see what we see.
But another person’s inability to understand your purpose does not invalidate it.
They do not have to recognize the value of your goal for it to possess value. They do not have to understand your determination for you to remain determined. They do not have to approve of your direction for you to continue moving forward.
You are the one who must live your life. You are the one who will experience the regret if you abandon something meaningful merely because other people could not understand it.
Listen to constructive advice. Be willing to examine your methods and make changes when necessary. Determination should not prevent growth or honest self-evaluation. But there is an enormous difference between adjusting your approach and surrendering your purpose to satisfy people who never shared it.
Some people may never understand why you keep creating, learning, building, practicing, or pursuing a distant goal. They may never understand why the work itself matters to you. That is okay.
It does not matter whether everyone understands what you are doing.
What matters is that you understand why you are doing it—and that you remain focused enough to continue.
Bob Craypoe
Founder of Craypoe Productions® and Daydream Warrior
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